New year

Happy new year.

I've now been in Jacksonville for three weeks and two days. I spent Christmas here without my babies, and New Year's Eve in the home alone. Grandma B has been in the hospital this time for a week and two days, and she won't be leaving until Tuesday, January 3. Erin's 9th birthday. I'll be missing that, too. However, on Tuesday she will be transferred to a rehabilitation center for approximately a week, and then she will be moving into my home. That's right. She's going to be living with us in Trinity, leaving her home behind (to be sold). I've always known that the day would come that I would take care of her, and that time is now. This move will enable me to better supervise her daily care, appointments and be there immediately in the event of another emergency (of which we are all certain there will be more). The next couple of weeks will be some of the most hectic. In addition to starting my job at the hospital next week, I'll be commuting back and forth between Tampa and Jacksonville to oversee the sale of the home, estate sale of all of the contents of the home that aren't being moved, and any other necessities associated with her moving. I'm responsible for packing up, selling and transporting every item in the house. I'll be meeting/talking with her cardiologist, endocrinologist, primary care and podiatrist over the next couple of days to get access to all necessary medical records so that they are in hand for her new doctors in Trinity. When she's released from rehab I'll be there to pick her up and drive directly to Tampa. She won't be coming back here. She doesn't want to come back here. She feels that it would be too easy to get sucked back into the life she had here, and at this point that life is not condusive to her staying alive. There are too many steps and inaccessible areas in her home. And it makes her want to smoke. She hasn't smoked in three weeks, and she doesn't want to ever do it again. She knows that if she does she will die. Quickly. So this is a clean break for her, and she's optimistic and enthusiastic about it. I'm thankful to be in a position to take care of her for the rest of her life, however long that may be. This means, too, that my ties to Jacksonville are now gone.

So if you contact me and I don't get back to you for a while, if I don't update the blog regularly for a while longer, and if I seem a bit on edge when you do speak to me, please be patient with me. I'm making huge changes in my life in more than just one way. I'm optimistic for the coming year, and for all of the changes that are going to occur. I'm thankful for my children, my family, my friends and those that I hold dear to my heart. I'm emotional, I'm stressed, I'm tired...but I'm also happier than I've been in a very long time. I've found a peace within myself that I didn't know existed. More than anything I am thankful.