Saying good-bye

My mom, also known to many as Grandma B, died on June 15 just after midnight.  My heart is broken beyond words, and I miss her more than anyone can know.  She was suffering terribly at the end, even with Hospice care, and although I am happy that she is no longer suffering it doesn't take away the pain that I feel without her now.  She has been a mother and a friend to me and an amazing grandmother to my children.  The 24 years that I spent with her were some of the worst and best in my life, and I very likely would not be here today if it weren't for her.  When there was nobody else she was there.  


On Saturday, June 30th in Fernandina Beach a group of close friends and family said good-bye to both my mom and to Chris.  She asked me to keep his ashes after I received them from Australia and have a joint ceremony for the two of them at a very specific place on the beach there.  Their celebration was held in the Oceanview Room of the Amelia Island Plantation and then we let their ashes go out into the ocean.  I am reminded of them both when I listen to one of mine and Chris's favorite songs by Ben Folds titled "The Luckiest".  I truly am the luckiest for having had both of them in my life, albeit for far too short of a time.  I miss them both, and their deaths leave a hole in my heart.  I feel honored to have had the opportunity to be there with both of them as they took their last breaths, to say good-bye in peace and to make all of the arrangements for their celebration to ensure that it did them justice.  I think they would both be proud.

American Beach on Amelia Island.  Saying good-bye to mom and Chris.  June 30, 2012.