Sunday, December 25, 2011


I've been in Jacksonville now for 16 days. I haven't seen my babies for the past two weeks, including today. Christmas day. Grandma B had been home for exactly one week, and this past Friday (December 23) I had to take her back to the ER. She was immediately admitted, and we will be in the hospital until at least Tuesday or Wednesday. As a result I am spending my first Christmas ever without my children. I'm torn. I miss my babies so much, and want to be with them today just like every day, but I would not leave Grandma B here alone. Thankfully I have amazing children who can understand and accept the situation without tears or anger. They know that we are going to have a Christmas celebration here with Grandma as soon as she is back home and feeling better. But it's hard for me.

I bought a small Christmas tree and put it up in the hospital room. I placed the lights around it and decorated it with small bulbs. It was the only tree I decorated this year. Mine sat undecorated until Erin and one of her friends decorated it a few days ago. I always decorate the tree. The kids didn't want to do it without me, but by waiting for me to come home it ended up not getting done. So my tree this year is shared with Grandma in the hospital. It's a cute little tree.

I'll be here for a while more. More than likely until I go back to school and work on January 9th. She needs 24 hour care, and I'm the one that she wants here with her. She deserves this, and I owe her this. I wouldn't have it any other way. I just wish that I could have had my babies here with us today.

Merry Christmas.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Corridors, cold and crying

I've been in Jacksonville for the past six days. Grandma B was taken by the paramedics again this past Friday, and she's been in ICU ever since. As is always the case when she is hospitalized, I am spending my days and nights with her. In the past five weeks I've spent nearly three of them in the hospital with her. She just hasn't had a break. Since June she's been hospitalized five times, but each time seems to take a bigger toll on her, and this time she has really struggled. I have really struggled. I cry at her bedside watching her suffer and agonize. I come back to her house, pay her bills, keep up with the house, and do what needs to be done for her. I wouldn't have it any other way. I will always be here for her, and she knows that. She's asked me before not to leave her with anyone else when she's in the hospital, and I won't.

So if you are wondering (and I'm sure you aren't) why I haven't posted very often in the past month or so, that is why. I am taking care of Grandma B, and I'm right where I belong right now.

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Cinnamon rolls from scratch

After a few failed attempts at making delicious, homemade cinnamon rolls, I finally found a recipe for both the rolls and icing that I love. Tonight Erin and I rolled out another batch for the second night in a row. Thankfully this recipe for the rolls makes enough to share, and that's exactly what we do. Some go to school with Sean, some to our neighbors, and the rest to us. Homemade cinnamon rolls are so worth the time and work, and these recipes won't disappoint.

Cinnamon Rolls recipe is here, courtesy of The Pioneer Woman.
Cream Cheese icing recipe is here. (Just ignore the cinnamon roll recipe unless you want to try this one, too).
Erin kneading the dough for me, wearing her apron that Sean made for her last year.