I've been in Jacksonville now for 16 days. I haven't seen my babies for the past two weeks, including today. Christmas day. Grandma B had been home for exactly one week, and this past Friday (December 23) I had to take her back to the ER. She was immediately admitted, and we will be in the hospital until at least Tuesday or Wednesday. As a result I am spending my first Christmas ever without my children. I'm torn. I miss my babies so much, and want to be with them today just like every day, but I would not leave Grandma B here alone. Thankfully I have amazing children who can understand and accept the situation without tears or anger. They know that we are going to have a Christmas celebration here with Grandma as soon as she is back home and feeling better. But it's hard for me.
I bought a small Christmas tree and put it up in the hospital room. I placed the lights around it and decorated it with small bulbs. It was the only tree I decorated this year. Mine sat undecorated until Erin and one of her friends decorated it a few days ago. I always decorate the tree. The kids didn't want to do it without me, but by waiting for me to come home it ended up not getting done. So my tree this year is shared with Grandma in the hospital. It's a cute little tree.
I'll be here for a while more. More than likely until I go back to school and work on January 9th. She needs 24 hour care, and I'm the one that she wants here with her. She deserves this, and I owe her this. I wouldn't have it any other way. I just wish that I could have had my babies here with us today.